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A Sixty and Me essay lists “I’ll try,” “can’t,” “always,” “never,” “if only” and “but” as phrases to rethink. The author argues that replacing them with more specific or constructive wording can encourage accountability and improve communication; the piece is personal advice, not a research finding.
Sixty and Me has published a first-person essay urging readers to reconsider six everyday words and phrases—“I’ll try,” “can’t,” “always,” “never,” “if only” and “but”—that its author says can reinforce discouraging self-talk or weaken communication. The recommendations are based on the writer’s personal experiences and opinions, not presented as findings from a scientific study.
The author frames the piece around the idea that word choices affect how people describe themselves and relate to others. She recalls a friend whose fiancé removed the word “divorce” from his dictionaries as a gesture of reassurance. The couple, she writes, remain married more than 40 years later. The story is offered as a personal example of language carrying emotional meaning, rather than evidence that a particular word choice determines a relationship’s outcome.
The essay’s six suggestions focus on replacing broad or tentative wording with language the author considers more direct. She proposes using “I will” instead of “I’ll try,” and describing a specific choice—such as not taking a walk—rather than saying “I can’t.” She advises against “always” and “never” in complaints, arguing that they can turn a particular disagreement into an absolute accusation. Instead of dwelling on “if only,” she suggests responding to circumstances with “Since this is here, I have a new opportunity.”
The final word is “but,” which the author calls a “verbal eraser” because it can undercut praise, an apology or an expression of affection. She offers alternatives that preserve the first thought while adding another: for example, saying a child is a handful “and” is loved. The essay also discusses avoiding swear words in everyday conversation, but identifies the six phrases above as its central list.
How Small Phrases Shape Conversations
The advice matters as a practical prompt for readers to notice habitual language in self-talk and conversation. Absolute words such as “always” and “never” can make a complaint sound broader than the specific event being discussed, while “but” can make a positive statement seem qualified or withdrawn. Choosing more precise wording may help people explain what happened and what they want to change.
At the same time, the essay should be read as personal guidance rather than established psychological evidence. Its examples illustrate the author’s perspective; the source material does not cite research showing that avoiding these words reliably changes behavior, relationships or health. The suggestions are most useful as options to try, not rules that apply to every exchange.
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The writer links the recommendations to her experience teaching a workshop on “limiting beliefs” and working with a colleague on regular affirmation calls. She says the practice helped both of them make progress in their personal and professional lives, but does not provide independent measurement or research to support that assessment.
One detailed example concerns her son Joel, who has Down syndrome. The author says he lost 35 pounds over six months during the pandemic after he, his parents and their household routines included daily walks and fewer readily available soft drinks and fast-food options. She reports that he felt and slept better and had more energy. This is an account of one family’s experience; it does not establish that changing a phrase such as “I’ll try” caused the weight loss or that the same approach will work for others.
The essay also draws on relationship advice, including its examples of “always” and “never” in complaints about household chores. Its broader point is that specific descriptions leave more room for discussion than sweeping statements about someone’s character or behavior.
What the Essay Does Not Establish
The source is a personal essay, and it does not cite studies, expert interviews or data establishing that avoiding these six words improves wellbeing or relationships. It is not clear whether the author’s suggestions have been tested beyond her own experiences and examples. The piece also does not define when these words are harmful; their effect can depend on context, tone and what a speaker means.
The source material supplied for this article does not include a publication date, so the timing of the essay’s release cannot be stated more precisely. No separate response from researchers or other experts is included.
How Readers Can Apply the Advice
The essay asks readers to identify words they would be happier not saying and notice what happens when they try alternatives. A reader could start with one recurring phrase and replace it with a more specific description of the situation: what happened, what choice was made, or what they would like to happen next.
No formal follow-up study, expert review or additional reporting is described in the source material. The practical next step is therefore personal reflection, not a promised outcome: readers can decide whether the proposed wording helps them communicate more clearly while recognizing that the essay offers advice, not proof of a guaranteed effect.
Key Questions
Which six words and phrases does the essay recommend rethinking?
It lists “I’ll try,” “can’t,” “always,” “never,” “if only” and “but.” The author also discusses swear words, but these six are the phrases at the center of the recommendations.
Does the essay show that these words cause negative outcomes?
No. The piece presents the author’s experiences and opinions, but the source material does not cite research showing that these words cause particular outcomes or that avoiding them reliably changes behavior.
What alternatives does the author suggest?
She suggests trying “I will” instead of “I’ll try,” describing a specific choice instead of saying “I can’t,” and using “and” rather than “but” when both parts of a statement matter. For “if only,” she offers: “Since this is here, I have a new opportunity.”
Why does the author object to “always” and “never”?
She argues that these words can turn a specific complaint into a sweeping accusation, such as saying someone “always” leaves dishes out. She recommends describing the particular behavior instead.
Source: sixtyandme.com
